Blog Soup... a little of everything

As requested from a friend, another blog update. :) Its silly how law school can make you forget about the important things... like blogging, checking my MySpace and FaceBook, sending junk forwards, reading e-cards, creating e-photo albums, emailing my grampa in Maine about bluegrass music. I really need to prioritize.

I have made lotsa new friends in the last two years since we moved to Houston. I need to email them the "email manifesto." For your reading pleasure, I've attached it below. Its an email I sent out to my e-buddies when they get too forward happy. Just a few guidelines, warnings, and threats that are central to my personal web-ethics. Below is the Christmas version. I send it out when Christmas songs start playing in the department stores because I have found a direct correlation between Jingle Bells and email forwards about reindeers.

And contrary to what Dallas folks think, Houston isn't so bad. Since the Astros play the Cardinals all the time, Joshua is relatively happy. He has gone to all the Cardinals games here, and is filled with glee and sprinkles when he comes home. When I accompany him, I glady partake in the nacho activities. It's like chip soup, and the soup is can cheese, 4x reheated chilli, chunky Pace salsa, hot sour creme, and jalapenos. OMG. I can't even describe to you the funness. Like seeing Miles Davis in concert. You just start drooling and your eyes glaze over and your heart expands like the Grinch after he as restored Christmas to the Whos in Whoville. When you ask the cashier for more cheese, they don't frown, but they smile because Houstonians recognize the spiritual and holy nature of canned nacho cheese.

Anyways, one last blog post before the insanity of finals takes hold and destroys my intestinal fortitute where I will be constrained to my little home and my monkey jammies.

Oh, and happy b.day to my best girl, Emmy. I love you girl.

AMANDA LYNN’S EMAIL MANIFESTO

The holidays are approaching and I know that you may be tempted to send me email forwards containing reindeer pictures, manger references, snow storm survival stories that happened the night before Christmas. Therefore, I have decided to supply you with the guidelines of sending forwarded mail to me.... For future reference, violators of the following restrictions on e-mails will be disciplined in the following ways:

• First time offenders: Warning along with another copy of the manifesto
• Second time offenders: Warning along with a torrent of emails with extremely large files.
• Third time offenders: Termination from the address book and a block on your emails.

Choose wisely in what is sent over the communication lines to me, my friend, I would like you to remain as such.

1. No mention of any kind of fruits, citrus or otherwise.
2. If the phrase, "Send this to 10 of you friends” and you will have a special day appears anywhere near the e-mail forget it!
3. If you got it from a forward at work, rest assured that I’ve already read it.
4. The chain letters will not be tolerated. If “something bad will happen to you if you don’t email this immediately” occurs w/in the text, its probably too late because something bad has already happened to me by just reading it.
5. It CANNOT contain any poems or poem-like phrases, whether deep or shallow.
6. If the e-mail has a moral, (For example: Don't drink and drive) I don't want to hear it! That's what shows on the WB are for.
7. If it contains any warnings or threats, keep it to yourself. Good ol’ G.W.B. would think that your email is un-patriotic, and I'm already on too many lists.
8. No reference to princess Di or any other deceased celebrity
9. Note* if it has been around the world nine times it will stop at my house so don't bother.
10. Mentions of roses or other things that smell and grow in dirt are simply not acceptable
11. If it discusses, 'The touch, the feel, of cotton,' you know something's wrong right away.
12. If it includes instructions on building nuclear weapons as well as other types of artillery it will probably just get me in trouble with the FBI, and I'll blame the whole thing on you anyway.
13. Should not require excessive scrolling. I get the urge to commit ax-murder after about 4 seconds. (Remember these rules only apply to forwarded mail, not original compositions.)
14. No repeating letters. (Such as WWW or KKK) They either make me dizzy or religiously offended.
15. No asinine questions about meat products. Example: "If you were a hot dog...and you were starving...would you eat yourself?"
16. Absolutely no twenty page list of your favorite hobbies, movies and pastimes or how you are going to devote your life and body to scientific research.
17. Positively no light bulb jokes will be tolerated- after all I have probably doubted that even you could figure out how to screw in a light bulb.

I hope these rules will help you in choosing more wisely on you next forward to me.

(Please be aware that the rules and regulations posted within the preceding text are subject to change, editing, and the induction of additional restrictions. If any of these cases may occur. The recipient will be provided with an updated version that will be expected to be upheld within 10 days of receipt.)

Amanda Lynn

PS. For the most part this is in good fun; please take no personal offense. Please be cautious, though, in sending your next forward to me.